Today’s NaBloPoMo prompt asked a simple (yet loaded) question: What was it like to be you in 2016?
To answer this question fully is difficult. 2016 Regan lived a year full of ups and downs; I had some amazing days and some days that weren’t so great. I laughed a lot and cried some. I stressed over school and spent hours in the library. I also binge watched a lot of Netflix and ate ice cream. This year was hard but wonderful. It was a rollercoaster; I loved it.
This year definitely had some low points. I have felt defeated, frustrated, and lonely at times. What 20 year old wouldn’t? Since high school, I have become a more heart-on-the-sleeve type of gal, causing me some pain. I lost some close friendships this past year and heard comments made about me that weren’t always pleasant. I had days where I looked in the mirror and immediately looked away, not liking what I saw. I had times of crying and despair that I wouldn’t wish on anyone; but, through it all, there were more high points than low ones.
The high points of the rollercoaster were amazing. 2016 started with a move for me. I left the dorms at CSC and moved into 320 Lake Street. Today, I can honestly say that this move was the best thing I could’ve ever done. I gained another amazing friend and grew stronger relationships with those I already knew. Living in my own house made Chadron feel more like home to me; I had new responsibilities that made me become accountable. I finished my spring semester on the President’s List with a 4.0 and felt accomplished. Leaving my friends was, quite frankly, heartbreaking for me; I became a more loving person this past year.
I spent my summer at home working for NCTA. At first, I dreaded this placement. However, by the end of the summer, I wasn’t ready to leave. The people at NCTA never ceased to make me feel welcome and loved. I spent Kellan’s 17th birthday with him and cried when he blew out his candles. I laughed along with my coworkers and watched the olympics during work. I bawled like a baby for the first 1.5 hours on the road back to school in August. Spending the summer at home with Kellan and family close to Curtis was the right decision for me, and I’m so happy I had the opportunity to do so.
This year, I became a better person. I found myself more in Christ’s word and dove headfirst into the scriptures. He has caused a change in my heart that is hard to describe but amazing to feel. God showed me that I deserve to love myself because He loves me and thinks I’m beautiful- why should I think anything else? I began to trust in Him fully during this past year; in fact, I just recently turned in an application to serve on a missions team in Costa Rica this coming spring. God has worked in my life in ways that are absolutely unimaginable, and for this, I am forever grateful.
This year, I became a better friend and listener. I truly began to love everyone around me instead of just a select few. I learned that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes and the word “no” isn’t always bad. I’ve discovered that my career path is indeed right for me. I watched One Direction go on a hiatus and felt my heart break. I was hurt by some and loved fiercely by others. I struggled financially as a college student but always seemed to have money for an ice cream or Subway date with friends.
2016: an amazing, complicated, messy, beautiful year. It was filled with friends, family, fun, stress, love, worry, and a lot of laughter. It was full of ups and downs, but they were all worth it because they led me to be the person I am today. As I finish 2016, I pray that this year ends with me feeling fulfilled. If nothing else, this year showed me that I am blessed to have the people around me that I do. I am loved; what more could a self-professed bleeding heart want in life?