Car Doors and Chivalry

Celebrate what you want to see more of.

-Tom Peters

It’s no secret that I’m single. And, when I say single, I mean that I spent tonight laying in bed watching music videos of my favorite middle school jams and a sappy love movie. (Basically my routine every Saturday if we’re being honest.) So, I am not in any way trying to say that I know all of the details that go in to dating looks today; I’m obviously not in a relationship and am in no way an expert on dating. But, since I’m in school, I am able to observe what happens around me.

I’m a young woman living in a complicated world of dating. Although I haven’t been on a date in years, I’m in college and there are couples all around me. And, to be honest, I’m not sure I want any part of it. The dating culture has completely changed; we now rely on Snapchat streaks and texting instead of an actual conversation. Chivalry has effectively taken a back seat. It seems that the days of holding doors for women and treating them with respect have officially left us. Gone are the days of ringing the doorbell to be picked up for your date. Now, you hear a few quick honks coming from the street, your cue to head outside. It’s clear that the concepts of dating and chivalry have changed, especially in our generation.

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(Image CC: Pixabay.com)

However, this isn’t to say that dating, love, and chivalry have disappeared off the face of the earth.  A few weeks ago, I found myself in Kearney, NE, which always means a church date with my aunt and uncle and (if I’m lucky) going to lunch afterwards. Aunt Nikki and Uncle Brian are not your typical, run-of-the-mill married couple; their love for and understanding of each other is obvious every day despite having been married for a number of years now. I have been lucky enough to watch their relationship progress from the days of dating to the season of marriage, and it’s clear from their actions that they love each other more with every passing day. That being said, I knew exactly what would happen when they pulled up to the restaurant for lunch. As soon as the car was in park, I watched my Uncle Brian hop out and jog around the front of the vehicle to open the door for my aunt.

You guys. He does this every. stinking. time. they exit a vehicle. And you know what? It’s left an enormous impact on me. This small act shows me there are still men out there that will treat women the way that they deserve.  I know plenty of awesome guys who actively treat females (not just significant others, but all women) with respect. I love them for this.

The act of opening a car door shows me that true love is out there and that women deserve more than a snap streak. It tells me that women deserve someone who is willing and able to be chivalrous and is above the hook up culture.

I’m not saying that I am a helpless girl in need of someone to constantly be holding doors and taking care of me; trust me, I am capable of opening a door myself. I’m saying I need someone who treats me right. In fact, we all deserve that someone. You deserve someone who asks you on a date. You deserve a guy who will get out of his car and ring your doorbell when he gets to your house instead of honking. You deserve respect. You deserve someone who is willing to go the extra mile. You deserve someone who isn’t afraid to take you out in public.

Small acts, like opening a car door, show me that chivalry is not dead.  So don’t give up. Keep waiting. Keep celebrating the little victories of chivalry you see. Understand what you deserve and don’t settle for less.

And me? I’ll be waiting for the guy who opens my car door.

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Best,

Regan

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